advice

Wise piece of advice from “aunt Sally(!) in the Sunday Times magazine today :

“I once asked a therapist to define soul mates. She said: “It’s two people who recognise the damage in each other.” So much for romance – but what she was actually saying is that we are attracted to fragilities in other people that we know, often at an unconscious level, we share ourselves. If you really were at ease, you wouldn’t need to go around rescuing people who are insecure, anxious and inclined to melancholia. You wouldn’t need to rescue people at all. So, why do it? Well, when we don’t like our own fragilities, we deny them by painting ourselves as the opposite. We literally deny who we are. It’s called the false self.”